While I cannot claim to be an expert on this topic, I do still have thoughts of my own. Hopefully these are not taken in a way offensive to anyone.
You do not have to be perfect to be a great leader. All of the leaders I have met have had many flaws of their own still. But there are still certain characteristics that should definitely be developed into a person's mannerisms that will make them a great deal more successful in all their ambitions.
First, do not be a hypocrite in any way. When your words and your actions start to really contradict, it will catch up to you eventually and you will be found out. You may feel like you are entitled to still be able to do certain things because of your position, but in fact it is the complete opposite. When you are in a position of authority, don't abuse it. You, of all people, should be completely upholding everything you teach, to the very highest degree.
Your very attitude, manners, and speech should uphold the highest level. Speak and act with dignity and grace. Understand justice as well as mercy. Know your position of power, but stay humble.
Anyone can help somebody to become good; But it takes a very Great Leader to help others along the path to becoming Great. That should be your whole goal.
Focus outward. Don't look inwardly at yourself. When you are selfish, that becomes all you can see. Sacrifice, give, but don't give all away and have nothing left for yourself. Take care of yourself first, and you will be better able to take care of others.
Don't expect too much of others, and don't be too hard on them when they do not make it the first time, or the second, or maybe even the hundredth. People struggle. Some things will come easier for some than it will for others. Even parts and pieces of things will come differently to everyone. Something you may think should be easy for everyone may be a struggle for others. Just understand that everyone's bodies, hearts, and minds are all built completely differently.
Don't assign jobs or tasks that you are not willing and/or able to take on yourself, and that you have done in the past. Whenever possible, do the work with them. The influence of your presence and caring will extend beyond your words.
Never play one person against another.
Never hold one person above the rest. You can hold them as an example to the rest, but do not make everyone else feel constantly inferior to that person.
Especially do not hold yourself above the rest and try and make them feel inferior to you. When you constantly try to prove to everyone else that you are better than them, they will stop listening to what you say, and just remember how you made them feel.
You do not have to make everyone just feel good all the time. That's not what I'm saying. That is not your job. What you do need to do, though, is just help them remember how much they really are worth. Sometimes that is all that people need. Do not constantly belittle them or always point out all their flaws and failures. They know their problems and the things they they are struggling with, and they do not need to be continuously told. Be more quick to encourage than you are to point out flaws.
Last, if you start demanding respect and you feel like you constantly have to rebuke what you feel are challenges, then your authority does not have the power that it used to have. A person's authority, as well as the trust and respect for them can be broken down all at once. But it is usually broken down piece by piece. Like water through the cracks in cement.
But if you constantly feel like your authority and position are being challenged, perhaps it is time to look inward. If you keep getting defensive and fighting back, then maybe there really is something that needs to be fixed. Because if there were no cracks in your cement, then the person would have no possible way of breaking it down.
Remember, facts are facts. If you are wrong, be man enough to admit it. Don't just keep trying to act like you did nothing wrong. That can only hurt you. If you made a mistake, they will still know one way or the other. But if you get all defensive and try to pretend you were still right, it will only break you down more in their eyes.
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Just remember, being a great leader does not come from what you say. It comes simply from
everything that you are. If your words and your actions contradict, then you will end up breaking yourself down. And if you try and place yourself above others, you will be pulled down. If you try and demand that people treat you like a leader and a position of authority, then it is time to go back and learn again how to be a follower.
Great leaders are not made from up front. They are made inside. For it will be love, desire, and sincere respect that will get people to follow you. Not force.
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Tara J. Howard
Copyright 2014
That’s when you know you’ll be strong.
