“I
demand more respect and obedience” was a very loud statement that I heard
recently. While at first it sounded like a highly promoted leader talking, it
only took a second to realize just how cocky and arrogant that statement really
is. That statement came from an adult that I knew very well. They felt they
deserved complete respect and obedience from the people under them, and they
had stooped to means so low as to roughly demand it from them. At the same time though,
they were showing no real means of having really earned it in any way.
Unfortunately,
that attitude has become more prevalent in the coming leaders of the world. Any
potential and distance that they might have gained over the years would be
completely destroyed by a statement and attitude such as that one.
You
see, respect and obedience are like trust in many aspects. It is not something
that you can just demand of people. It is something that is earned, as well as
something that is very well portrayed. The whole manner of the person can
either make it, or completely destroy it.
A
person should never demand respect or obedience through their words, or their
attitude. It should be their very manner, their very character that echoes so
loud and so clear that everyone around them just knows immediately of the
respect that they deserve. Not because they say they do, but simply because of
who they are.
Who
you are speaks louder than what you say.
It
has become apparent that many people do not even realize what real respect is
anymore, or the potential that it has to generate so much more.
Respect
has the power to potentially generate the deepest levels of trust and
obedience. It also has the power to create the strongest kind of love. That is
real respect.
There
is another feeling that many people have that they also call “respect”. It is
simply the violent and horrible fear of others. This kind of demanded,
so-called “respect” generates only evil. There is no respect in it. Yet that is
what people call it. It is the very opposite of respect though. It creates
feelings of anger, and fear, and sadness. It causes people to potentially do
things they never wanted to do, or that they know are wrong. It also destroys
any feelings of goodwill, kindness, or happiness that existed before between
any such people. This fear of people has no respect in it. Like the child that
obeys their parents out of fear, or the student at school that is picked on and
beaten by others. There is no respect there, only fear. Yet that is what people
call it!!
Real
respect is given, not forced. There should naturally be a certain degree of
respect in the beginning between all of us, for everyone, because of who we
are. But remember that it is easily destroyed, and it all has the potential for
so much more. If it is real respect, it has the potential of creating something
strong and unbreakable.
The
strongest and deepest kind of respect can be just as pure and as strong as real
love. Only it is so different in many ways, and it has the potential to
generate that kind of real, pure love too.
You
cannot demand respect from others. Your whole character, your whole being, will
determine that level of respect to which you are given. Your intentions, your
integrity, and your whole manner of living, will speak openly to everyone.
Although
perhaps not everyone will give that respect to you, that is not the point. If
you really understand it, then you would not be demanding it. It still has to
be freely given.
The
most respected persons are the ones who would never think to demand it, but
whose whole character and being speak loud enough for them already.
Tara J. Howard
Copyright 2014
I love this, Tara! R-E-S-P-E-C-T is for sure everyone could do a little more of and use a bit more of. Some days wanting to "demand" some respect is a little healthy too. Just in moderation. ;)
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