Dear World,

I am sorry I am so honest, so blunt, and so real. I speak my mind. I always have a bit of sass going on. There is nothing fake about me. Sometimes people can't handle the honest truth. Not about them, but about me. But at least I'm not trying to hide it and pretend like I'm something that I'm not.

I care about people too much. I try too hard. And sometimes I forget what I'm worth because of it.

I am sorry for all the people I've tried to keep in my life. Fortunately, I'm not going to try that anymore. They've made it not worth it. Not in the slightest.

What is it with people putting on those fake smiles and pretending that everything is alright? Obviously it's not. Why don't we talk about it? Why do we keep pretending nothing is wrong? How do you expect the world or your life to change when you're doing that?

Social media talks about everything that is wrong just for the sake of being angry. People in the regular world seem to be adverse to talking about anything that's wrong because they're trying to pretend it's alright.

It's not alright. And I'm not going to pretend. If you don't care about someone, don't say it. If you're not going to be a friend, don't pretend you will. If you hate your life, admit it. Then go and fix it. If someone is treating you wrong, remove them from your life. If you're not happy, don't pretend like you are.

I would much rather be around someone who is honestly grouchy all the time, compared to someone who is sucking up to people or faking a smile just because.

Who in the history of humans decided it was the right and proper thing to be happy all the time? Obviously nobody really is. Life doesn't really allow for that. So they're all pretending to some degree.

Unfortunately this attitude has come back to bite me a few times. Lucky for me though, I don't want a guy who expects me to be smiling all the time and never show any flaws. Unfortunately, there seem to be a lot of people out there who can't handle the fact that nobody's perfect.

I'm generally a happy person anyway. But when I'm sad, upset, or struggling, I'm not going to just pretend otherwise just to try and please you.

I don't do things just to please people. I do things because I know they're right.



Sorry if you can't handle my Realness. But I can't handle anything fake.



#sorryNOTsorry


Sincerely,


Me

My Perfect Spouse

Do you ever just look at your life and think, “Wait a minute…. This isn’t what I wanted.”

I had a moment like that the other day. I think it came with the realization that I am about to turn 24 and graduate from college with my Bachelor’s degree. My whole family is asking me what’s next on my list.

Um…. Get married. Have a family. Build a home together. But those list items aren’t something you can just go and get done like laundry or grocery shopping.

So I will probably go on to get my Master’s degree so I can get a career. But I really don’t want a career. I’m not sure I ever have. I just want a family. But life doesn’t always go as you would like.

I struggle with dating. Not because I’m shy or anything, but because I have struggled lately finding a guy who meets even the first two requirements on my list.

1. To be Real

2. To let me be Real

At least in this area where I am currently living, it seems like these guys think they have to be perfect in order to be able to date and get married. Let’s be honest, it seems like a lot of the girls feel the same way too. Meanwhile I am struggling to be able to handle the stiff, seemingly perfect mannerisms, career goals, life plans, and everything.

They don’t want to show their bad side. They don’t want to seem like they have any flaws. I have seen too many guys trying to act like that, I get really excited now when a guy shows a flaw and doesn’t seem mortified by it. It’s nice when they remember that they’re human and that their life is their choice.

However, that still doesn’t even compare in the slightest with a guy who expects me to be perfect too and to never show any flaws either. Who do they think I am?

For instance, do you remember that new live-action Cinderella movie that came out in 2015? I do. I only watched it once or twice before I was completely disgusted by it though. Why? Because there was a guy I knew who was going to see it a couple times a week for a couple of months AND WAS TAKING NOTES!!!!

Notes!!! And not even notes on how he wanted to be better. But notes on how he wanted his future wife to be.

What in the world?! Good luck living up to those expectations.

But that’s the way so many guys are now. And girls too, let’s be fair. They compare the opposite sex to a fictional character (or even to their amazing grandparents who have lived 60 years longer than any of us) to try and get the absolute perfect spouse.

Well, let me tell you, my absolute perfect spouse is not going to be perfect. They are going to have flaws. They are going to admit them. They are going to be working on them. They are not going to pretend to be anything that they are not. They are going to laugh when things go wrong. They are going to help me when I go wrong. They will not belittle me, or themselves, for being, oh wait, human!!!

No wonder I keep wanting to get out of this place so bad. What has caused culture and society in some of these places to get like this? Where we tear people down and not give them a chance just because they’re not perfect.

Fake people. Fake marriage. Fake life. Fake dreams. Fake happiness.

Real people. Real marriage. Real life. Real dreams. Real happiness.