What is Coaching?

This is a topic that I have thought a lot about lately. I cannot claim to be a coach at any level really, and as such, I cannot claim to have any sort of thorough knowledge on this topic. I am only drawing from the resources of learning and experience that I have had these last few years.

Now granted, this doesn’t apply entirely perfectly to every single sport. Some sports are very different in many ways, and should be treated as such.

As it is usually easier to put organized thoughts in a list first, that is where I will start. Perhaps by calling it:

The Thirteen Thoughts For Coaches: 

1.  First, you must know exactly what your ultimate goals are and what you are really trying to accomplish. For example: know if your coaching philosophy is going to focus more on winning tournaments, or on developing the athletes, or perhaps on just giving everyone equal time to play.

2.  Always stay updated on the current happenings and possible changes in your sport. That is extremely important in building that confidence that your athletes will have in you. It is your responsibility. You should always be more knowledgeable in your sport than all of your athletes, don’t just act like you are. That is your homework, and you should do it all the time. Your athletes are relying on you for that.

3.  Stay in shape as much as is possible. When your athletes workout, workout with them as much as you can. If they really do bomb a very important tournament and you feel that a run would be a good thing to do, do it with them. That is extremely motivational and helpful to your athletes.

4.  Never put all the blame for a loss on your athletes, or take all the glory for a success either. This teaches them that they can never do good enough, and that nobody actually cares how well they might do either. You are in this together, and you should act like it. Always. Understand your part in the game.

5.  Don’t yell at them all the time, especially during tournaments. This builds a cautious, careful, and, usually, scared athlete. And in sports, that is something you just simply cannot have. Never motivate an athlete with fear. Motivate them with desire and love for the sport. Never degrade them, just build them up. Just because they are younger, doesn’t mean that they are stupid or anything. Coach Schleg once said: “Encourage them, help them to do a good job. Don’t ever put them down. Who do you think you are? You don’t have that right.”

6.  Don't be afraid to be hard on them if they need that. Sometimes punishments do have to be dealt out. That is part of learning and growing. Know how to use it, and where to go from there though. Punishment in and of itself doesn't teach anything. The teaching before and after is what will really make the difference. Be hard on them if you need to be, but don't do it all the time or it will lose its effect. If they already understand what they did wrong, and they have the desire to make it right, 

don't keep punishing them. 

7.  Don’t be overly praising, but don’t be afraid to give them plenty. Athletes need to know that you are really watching and really care when they work hard and do something right. Sometimes coaches won’t let an athlete know when they finally got something right like they wanted, and then the athlete is unsure and will sometimes to go back to doing it wrong because they weren’t sure that they got it right. As someone once told me, “Instead of just watching for things for them to fix, also be watching to catch them in the act of doing something right.” Be sincere in your praise though. Remember, Be a little faster to praise than to criticize, and your athletes will work harder for it too.

8.  With that though, don’t be afraid to give them the criticism that they need as well. Athletes need to feel like you’re really watching and want them to get better, but don’t constantly pour it on. That will make them start to question everything that they do. Then they won’t have the confidence as much to try new things, or the fire to want to work to get everything just right. Keep them humble, but also keep them hungry. Push them, but be sure they are allowed to feel good when they are really working hard, even when progress is not immediately seen. And remember, athletes need more than to be told that they did something wrong; They usually already know they did something wrong. What they need is specific information about how to do it right.

9.  Don’t do anything that might damage the trust between you and your athletes. It is not easily repairable. Athletes will trust you right from the start just because you are a coach, a position of authority. Don’t do anything that might hurt that trust, at all. Have high standards, don’t make promises you don’t intend to keep, and make sure you always live a life of honor. Be the example of what you want your athletes to become. And never talk bad about any of your athletes, managers, etc… behind their back. Ever. Or they will start to wonder all the time if you are talking bad about them. Kids will trust their coaches until their coach proves they are not trustworthy. You don’t have to earn their trust, you just have to keep it. Also remember, respect will never come if demanded. It only comes when earned.

10.  You must be the example. Sometimes you will be the only good mentor or hero that the kid has in their life. Don’t let them down. Remember, you need to hold yourself to as high of standards as your athlete. Or even higher standards than them. Be their example. Remember, they are still learning. You need to demonstrate the highest ideals. It is not enough to be a good Teacher. You must also be a good Person. The coach should be just as humble as they expect their athletes to be, but still with an understanding of their position of authority and leadership.

11.  Make sure every single one of them knows just how valued they are. Take the time to listen, help, care, and advise. Take the time to be there when they need you. On and off the field. And if they ever need to talk, don’t just schedule them in a time, and don’t be preoccupied with other things when they need to talk. Drop everything right then if you can, and give them your full attention. Sometimes they just need someone to listen. And sometimes they just need that on a regular basis for a little while until they can get back on their feet. But after repeatedly failing to get you to listen to them, they will just stop talking to you, and then are not as likely to listen to you either.

12.  You must coach girls and guys differently. They have totally different emotional structures. Girls and guys receive learning, criticism, correction, and praise very differently. You’ve got to understand and figure that out. They train and learn differently. Don’t yell at girls like you do to guys. Don’t spoil them, but don’t treat them in a way that will hurt them either. Girls are strong too, but they can’t always take yelling like guys can. Treat them the way they need to be treated. Understand their limits, and what really motivates them. Girls would run around the world for you if you asked them to. Just like guys would. But you’ve got to understand how to tell them to.

13.  Be open and honest in your communication. Be reliable, fair, and consistent. Follow through on what you say you’ll do. Keeping your word is a form of consistency that will enhance your credibility. How you communicate something can make a huge difference. Control yourself. The things you say to others can hurt a lot. Especially in your position of authority. Make sure you have realistic goals for your athletes. Do not set too high of expectations for them, and be sure to give them the help they need to accomplish those goals that you each have set for them. Also remember that communication is 70% nonverbal. Your every action in and out of the playing arena is seen and known. Impressionable athletes who hold you in high esteem are influenced by everything you do.

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Again, these are just my thoughts, and I definitely wouldn’t call myself a certified source of any sort. It is just something that I have really seen both sides of lately, and something that has kindof been on my mind a bit recently.

A famous quote I know goes like this:

“A poor coach yells.

A good coach explains.

A superior coach demonstrates.

But the great coach inspires.”

The first line of that was actually added in by a coach that I took a class from. The rest of that quote is well-known though.''

Coaching is a hard job, and it is one that your whole heart must be into for it to ever be any good. You must love it, and love the sport, and love the opportunity to be able to help kids and athletes, and to help make them better. When that is your ultimate goal, you will be able to see and understand them better. When you're just in it for the job or the money or the business aspect of it, you will get nowhere. Coaches are raising the world, and it is often in their hand that the next generation lies. Care about your athletes more than you care about yourself. 

As always, I would love any thoughts or feedback you might have.

Tara J. Howard


Copyright 2014