A Mother's Duty

A Mother's duty is to Love.

That's practically what the word Mother means. Ideally it would mean that the mother would be able to spend her time at home with society's most important figures. Her children. They are not staying at home just to keep house. That is not what is most important. Above all, her time is most valuably spent with her children. Teaching them, nurturing them, playing with them, and above all, loving them.

A Mother's duty is to love. As women, we are born with an innate instinct and ability to love. But that ability is also partially learned from the example of the mothers before. If a child is not loved, then how can they learn to love? These pure children came to us from our Heavenly Father. They have already been taught and shown how to love by Him. We are to love them also, for their memories have been swept clean, although their hearts still feel what they felt when living with Heavenly Father.

A Mother's duty is to love. The world has become a harder and harder place. In a lot of ways it has become cold and unloving. If no one else is to love that child, at least their mother will. Hopefully. Their father will too. When they have no one else to turn to, hopefully they'll have their mother. When everyone else is tearing them down, hopefully they will still have their mother. When others break their heart and leave them lonely, hopefully their mother is still there for them.

A Mother's duty is to love. If they teach that child nothing else, they will still have succeeded. Love is the hardest lesson to teach, and even harder to get someone to believe. If the parents didn't love or show their love for their children, it can become very hard for that child to believe that anyone else could. William Shakespeare said, "They do not love that do not show their love." And no, love is not just providing for their physical needs. Another well-known saying goes like this, "Parents must fill their child's bucket of self-esteem so full that the world cannot possibly poke enough holes in it to drain it dry." Never underestimate the great power that strong self-esteem can have in a person's life. It can literally change their whole lives.

If you are going to have a child, you better be able to love them. If you cannot, think about giving them to someone who will. Love is the most important thing a child needs in their development. It does not matter if you provide them with all the nicest clothes and fanciest gadgets. The child would prefer to have someone that loves them rather than all that other useless garbage.

How do you love someone? You spend time with them. Time is so absolutely and totally critical. You talk to them. Listen to them. Treat their thoughts and ideas with Respect, and love them all the more for it. Be trustworthy. Make sure you are a solid rock that they can lean on. Do not falter. Never, Ever tear them down. They do not need that, and it will Never do them any good. They are young, precious, pure, and sensitive. Strengthen them. Build them up. Tell them they're great, and smart, and wonderful, and that you love them. Treat them with gentleness and righteous persuasion. Never should you exercise unrighteous dominion.

The First Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints has said, "Motherhood is near to divinity. It is the highest, holiest service to be assumed by mankind." There is a big difference between raising children, and being a mother to them.

These children are too precious and too pure to lose them. We really need them to be strong in the world today. We need them more than ever, and we need them stronger than ever before.

If you love them, everything else will fall into place. If you love them, everything else will come naturally. If you love them, they will never totally forsake. If you love them, they will be able to love themselves. If you don't, then they will really struggle.

A Mother's duty is to Love.
Please Love Them.

Tara J. Howard


Copyright November 2014

10 Things I Learned From My Mission

My letter home: August 18, 2014

*************************************

Dear Family and Friends,

As this may be my last real entry as a full-time missionary, I want to share a few last thoughts.

A few days ago my Mission President asked me "What do you want?" At the time, I didn't have a super solid, good answer. I've thought about it more since then, and here is what I came up with; the things I truly want.

1. I want to be someone that The Lord trusts.

2. I want to continue doing missionary work.

3. I want to become everything I can become.

The Gospel of Jesus Christ gives us that great opportunity to change and become and fulfill our potential. The closer you get to God, the more you can become like Him.

This mission gave me the opportunity to teach the Gospel of Jesus Christ to anyone who wanted to listen. It has been the greatest blessing in my life.

**********************************'

Now I want to share a few things that my mission has taught me.

1. People can change, and they do. All the time.

2. You cannot understand or see others clearly until you understand and see yourself clearly.

3. We are agents to act, and we must be treated that way. We are not objects to be acted upon, and we must never treat anyone that way. Don't try and force people to do things. Or belittle or mock them when they don't do things. And don't let others treat you that way either.

4. Everyone needs to be loved.

5. You need to forge your own path. You need to be who God intended you to be. Don't be an assembly line robot. Don't be like everyone else just because they say you should be. Be yourself, who you are. Branch out, be different. It's okay to be different, and to do things differently. The Lord made us that way.

6. Be open and sincere in your prayers to God. Take down all barriers and walls. You will learn and feel a lot more that way, and you will become a lot closer to Him every day.

7. Growing your testimony is really about growing closer to God. The more you pray, study the scriptures, go to church, the closer you get to God. And, the closer you get to God, the more you become like Him.

8. Everything we are doing in our lives should be helping us to get back to The Father. If it is taking you the other direction, then it's not worth it. Learn new things, gain new skills, improve your talents, strengthen your testimony.

9. "It is what it is, but it will become what you make of it."

10. Eternal things are what we are striving for. Temporal things will not last. What if everything you had was taken away from you? All your possessions, worldly things, house, cars, family, friends, and you were left with absolutely nothing but the clothes on your back. Become the kind of person that could still stand up, and people would say, "Now there goes a Great man (or woman)."

**********************'

Love you all!!!

Sister Howard

~Missionary

All Meant to Fly

I’m locked inside a great, dark room,

There’s nothing much to see.

There’s so much that I want to do,

But it’s locked inside of me.

I want to run, I want to fight.

I want to let it go,

I want to dance, I want to climb.

But I don’t know. I just don’t know.

The world has standards, rifts, and bars.

And just one path, they say.

That’s how you really will go far,

And living day to day.

Go to high school, get a job.

And then to college come.

Start your career, keep going on,

And get life’s checklist done.

Don’t go off on crazy dreams,

They all can somehow say.

They will just end eventually,

And in a quite dull way.

The world would keep you locked inside,

Of your own great, dark room,

With failure, fears, and never tried,

Telling you just what to do.

But this is not a robot world,

And we are not its slaves.

I’m meant to be a unique girl,

Instead of white-washed graves.

We are not meant to be the same,

We’re not meant for just one path.

We’ll do it different every day,

And change the world at last.

So if I run away again,

To an unusual sort of life,

Don’t be surprised, it’s all okay,

We were all meant to fly.

 Tara J. Howard

Copyright November 2, 2014

Is the "What" most important? Or the "Why"?

Are we raising a group of mindless fact machines? Or are we going to really actually teach them the way things work? Are we going to show them, or just spout it to them? It does no good for them to know the facts if they do not really understand it. They might win at trivia, but they won't win at life.


The ones that win are the ones that can ask questions, and then go get them answered. Most importantly, they can ask Why and How. If they do not understand, retention and remembering is significantly lower, and they really can't do much with what they remember anyway. But if they understand the Why and the How, then how could they forget very easily? Facts and knowledge don't just settle and stick in people's minds. It takes work. Memorization of useless things is a waste of brain space if it has no applicable meaning. On the other hand, everything can have an applicable meaning to someone's life IF it is taught properly. The internet can spout and look up facts a lot better than humans can. So can books. We are not meant to do that.


But there are some people that have an incredible wealth of knowledge, and they can tell you all sorts of things about the world. How do they know it all? Because they know the Why of it. If you understand how something works you won't have to memorize the data, you'll just already know and understand it already. The Why and How leads you easily to the What. But the What does not lead you to the Why and How. We need to be learning smarter, not harder.


And who says we need to go to college anyway. Some of the most brilliant and successful people i know obtained learning and knowledge through a variety of other means. A doctorate degree does not make you smart or successful. You make yourself that way.

At the end of the day, and at the end of a class, if a person can truly answer the question, "So what?", then they have truly learned.


Tara J. Howard


Copyright November 2014

Are You Doing it Right?

A serious matter I heard on my way,

‘Twas a father and daughter discussing.

The father was firm in his steadfast decree

That she go to church instead of sluffing.

But the daughter bluntly refused as she said,

“I won’t go to church, and that’s for sure.

It used to be good, and it used to be fun.

But I don’t learn a thing anymore.”

“I’m sick of the fasting, and praying, and stuff.

It just doesn’t go as it should.

They certainly ask us to do way too much.

I’m supposed to be perfectly good!”

The father stopped walking and turned to his daughter,

A serious look crossed his face.

For he had a message so tender to give her,

Before she ran life’s toughest race.

“Do you like playing soccer?” The father asked daughter.

She nodded her head, “Yeah, so what?”

“Then you’re doing it right.” He spoke quietly now.

“Or else you wouldn’t play day and night.”

“Do you like swimming?” Question two now he asked.

“Yes, I like to do it a lot too.”

“Then you’re doing it right.” Simply said, that was done.

“Or else it would not be fun for you.”

“Now, do you like fasting?” His eyes piercing hers.

“No, I hate it.” Was her swift reply.

“It’s hard, and it’s painful, I don’t like not eating.

It’s too much to ask me to try.”

The father looked out at the distant sun setting,

The orange, red, yellow, and blue.

“Then doing it right, you are not.” He said softly.

“It’s hard, yes, but swimming is too.

“It took you three years to learn and love soccer.

You couldn’t do that in one day.

But after you’d tried just as hard as you could,

Then soccer you finally played.”

“You can’t do things halfway and hope to like them.

It takes work, courage, faith, and some luck.

You have to work hard as you possibly can,

At that fasting, and praying, and stuff.”

Tara J. Howard

Copyright 2010

The 12 Attributes of Great Leaders

1. The Courage to Stay Strong

A Leader needs the ability to withstand adversity and motivate theirself in the face of frustration. Rise above your present conditions, learn to deal with things you can’t change. Concentrate. Learn. Don’t ever let yourself even consider giving up. It’s not even an option.

2. An Ability to Listen

Good Leadership requires you to surround yourself with people of diverse perspectives who can disagree with you without fear or retaliation. Don’t be afraid of conflicting opinions. Be open-minded. Listen to those who disagree with you. You can learn a lot from them. Don’t discard the other person’s opinion. Try to understand where they’re coming from. More than likely, they have a very valid point of view. Listen to what they’re thinking and what they’re feeling.

3. An Ability to Learn from Errors

To Lead successfully, you must be willing to acknowledge and learn from your mistake. Don’t get discouraged. Be humble. If it’s not working, learn to change. There are always a million ways to do anything. Find the way that works the best for you and for those you lead. If you mess up, admit it. The worst thing you can do is try to cover it up. You can never fix a mistake unless you admit that it’s there.

4. A Willingness to Change

Conditions change, and you must be able to respond. Nothing is more constant than change. Be flexible and always ready. Circumstances change and so do people. Be accepting of everyone. See everyone’s value.

5. Emotional Intelligence

A Leader must encourage their closest advisors to give their best and remain loyal. Share credit for your successes, and shoulder public blame for the failure of subordinates. Transmit strength to others, to make them feel more determined to do their jobs well. Share the credit, take the blame. Boost, strengthen, encourage others.

6. Self-Confidence

Whatever you do, do with confidence. And even if it’s wrong, it will be more right than doing the right thing without confidence. Nobody will follow a weak leader. Even if you don’t feel strong, act like it and strength will follow. Believe you’re strong and your mind will listen. You can’t become strong by acting weak.

7. Self-Control

Great Leaders manage their emotions and remain calm in the midst of trouble. Keep a cool head. No matter how mad you are, don’t take it out on others. Don’t make enemies through your anger. Don’t lose your temper. You are the one that everyone is looking up to.

8. A Popular Touch

The Best Leaders have an intuitive awareness of public sentiment, a sense of when to wait and when to lead. Learn patience, not force. Listen to your followers. Know your audience. Follow your senses. What seems to make the most sense, is not always the best option either. Know what you’re feeling, and know what your followers are feeling too.

9. A Moral Compass

Only Strong Leaders have the courage and integrity to follow their convictions when the risk is great. Have integrity. Always do what’s right. Do the right thing even when there may be severe consequences or when the outlook may look gloomy or uncertain. Just know, that whenever you follow the straight road and do exactly what you know is right, you can never go wrong.

10. A Capacity to Relax

Make time for fun to relax and renew. Having a sense of humor always helps to keep

your mood up. Play jokes, see the fun side of life. When you’re enjoying what you’re

doing and having fun, you can get so much more done. Just make sure that you don’t

let everything get so light-hearted that nothing can get done. Find the balance

between serious and fun.

11. A Gift for Inspiring Others

Bond the people. Bring them together. Don’t tear them apart. Strengthen the people. Give them renewed hope and strength. Don’t push others away. Give them every opportunity to help you and to help each other. Allowing that bonding is what makes you stronger as a Leader. Trusting and relying on other people brings them closer to you and makes their trust and respect for you stronger. If you can’t learn to trust your subordinates, than how will they ever really trust you?

12. The Ability to See Higher

Don’t look down. Always look up. Throw your shoulders back, put your chin up, and see everything the world has to offer. Never look down on yourself either. Look up. See yourself as higher than you are at the moment. Your heart and mind will strive to reach that image of yourself. Don’t get cocky or prideful. But always be looking up and forward. Where your eyes see, you will follow. So look high, and aim for that.

Tara Howard

Copyright September 2014

Holding Out for a Miracle

From when I was young, I always was taught,
God lives and He loves all His children.
And when we live right, and do all that we can,
That's when the miracles come.

Life was never easy, some years were quite rough.
I never knew what lay before me.
With nowhere else to go, I would go to my knees,
I was holding out for a miracle.

Then before long, these teenage years hit me hard,
The struggles are hard lessons learned.
The world seems against me, I don't know where to turn.
I'm holding out for a miracle.

Now I am thousands of miles from home,
Preaching the Gospel in this place.
But they don't want to listen, they slam doors in our face.
I'm holding out for a miracle.

Once I am home, I take off on my dreams.
Gold medals, Olympics, I see.
But money is tight, there's a coach I would need,
I'm holding out for a miracle.

Someone told me, "God doesn't care about small things,
He doesn't care about the Olympics."
"Maybe not." I replied. "But He cares about me.
Who I am, who I become, and my dreams."

"He'll help me, He will, because He always has.
Maybe I didn't get all that I wanted.
Who I became though is a miracle from God.
Life made me all that I am.

And now I'm a mother, with several young children,
They're growing up carefree and strong.
With all I could teach them between right and wrong,
Here is what I chose to say.

Life isn't easy, you do what you can.
Do what's right, and just give it your all.
Sometimes we're beaten down, and sometimes we fall,
Just keep holding out for the miracle.


Tara J. Howard


Copyright August 2014