A whole mess of thoughts

I speak my mind way too often. Is there such a thing? Probably. But the topic that has been on my mind most of all lately has been the fact that I have definitely been born in the wrong decade. Maybe the wrong century.

I hear stories about the older days when kids respected their elders, when teens and youth were expected to work hard, and when everyone had a certain degree of common courtesy and respect. As well as a healthy dose of good manners. Those were the days when that was the way things were and it just seemed to be common sense. 

I long for those days.

Those days when people returned phone calls, even if they were difficult. When men wouldn't cuss in front of the womenfolk, or really at all. When people would give up the front seats for the elders or the ladies. When children said sir and ma'am, and when boys would help ladies across the street.

What happened? Why aren't parents teaching their kids these things anymore? And for the kids that are being taught it, why are they not holding onto it?

This lack of courtesy and manners seems to stem so much from a root of selfishness that seems to have crept very slowly into our society. Everyone wants to be able to do what they want to do, without any regard to the thoughts or feelings of other people. Life doesn’t seem to be about other people anymore. It all seems to about the self, and everything that the self wants.

People used to sit on their front porches with each other and talk about all sorts of things. Light-hearted as well as deep. They really knew how to talk. And everyone had a thought to share! And everyone had an opinion. And it was an opinion that they'd actually thought about and spent time on. And they could all respect each other in their thoughts and opinions and everyone wanted to share. And they would ask. And it was fine.

Now it all seems to be just about the me-game. What can I get for me? Who do I have to pull down so I can be higher up? It doesn't matter what people think about what I do, because it's me.

Nope. Nope. Nope nopety nope.

When did we all turn so inward? Why did we think that would make us happy? Since when did being wrapped up in ourselves ever make a good presence? Who cares about people who don't care about others? Nobody. We don't like being around them. And yet to some degree or another, we all act that way in different things. But most especially in our manners and courtesy. Or in the lack thereof.

We don't think about others as much. We don't think about getting to know them as much. People get weirded out when you start asking a lot of questions. 

I heard a story from a friend the other day. She went to visit a particular college campus where a friend lived one time. She said that when they pulled in, a whole bunch of guys basically swarmed their car asking if they could help them carry their stuff in. Just asking questions to get to know them. She said that, "It was like they were just sitting there waiting for someone to come along that they could help." What a great world that is! 

Guys offering to carry the packages for the ladies. Girls taking the guy’s arm as they walk.

Both of them using clean language around each other. What a sign of respect that is!

Opening the doors for the elderly and the ladies. Letting a mother and children move up in line.

Chewing with your mouth closed and offering help cleaning up after dinner.

Taking blame for your actions and working to fix them.

Being honest in all dealings and interactions with others.

Listening, and not interrupting.

You can speak your mind. Just learn to say it politely and without contempt. Also, taking criticism constructively and without anger. Everyone can use some improvement. Be grateful to those who want to help.

All is not lost. Many people still do many of these things. Heroes in a struggling society.

Could we have a strong return back to it all? 

"True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less."    ~C.S. Lewis