An Open Letter from someone who has lost several friends to Pornography.

I have had many friends face pornography and lots of other kinds of addictions in their lives. Some of them have thrown it off. But for many of them, it has destroyed my relationships with them. Read this article in the light of whatever addiction you or a friend might be facing.

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Dear Friends,

First off, I am sorry for the fact that I seem to have reacted in such a bipolar way to all the problems addiction has caused. You probably saw me showing compassion towards you as well as possibly expressing some anger. You see, we have all been in the grip of danger and/or evil before. I know that it is a hard place to be. I feel a lot of compassion for you as I watch you fight a battle to get out of the darkness you’re feeling.

What makes me angry is when I see people when they just give up. When they say there’s nothing they can do, they can’t get over this, and there’s just no point in trying either. They quit fighting. They quit trying. And they let it destroy their life and their good relationships.

Well, let me teach you some things. Your body heals very quickly. It wants to heal. And your brain can completely reprogram itself in just 2-5 years. You might say, “Oh, well that is a really long time to have to fight this to completely overcome it.”

And that might be true, but it has got to be better than sitting in a life of darkness and misery for the next 50 or 60 years instead. I daresay that 50 years of misery is quite a bit longer than just 5 years of fighting for good.

And anyway, it gets easier and you get stronger with every week, month, and year that goes by with you fighting against it. Your body and your mind are programmed to heal and become good again. It was all good originally, and that’s really what it wants to get back to.

If you’re addicted to cigarettes, beer, or drugs, the minute you stop putting them into your body, your body starts fighting to get it all back out again. You cough out the tar, you pee out the alcohol, and you sweat out the other toxins. It takes time, but you’ve got the time. If you’ve got the time to follow the addiction, than you’ve got the time to fight it instead. It might be an uphill battle or like climbing a waterfall. But I've climbed a waterfall, and it's definitely possible.

Just ask yourself, "Where do you want to be in five years?" 

Also, do you really think that this is just your battle to fight? It might be just your battle to fight if you were absolutely the only one affected by it. But you’re not. You’re definitely not. No matter what it is, you’re not.

So, we fight this together. And I really have no problem fighting any sort of battle against evil as long as we’re actually fighting it. I enjoy the battle actually. Stomping it out, beating it back, and putting a dagger in the heart of darkness.

But just letting it go on. Withdrawing from the people who love you. Pretending like you’re going to go off on your own and fight this by yourself and then come back good as new suddenly. Well, that’s just not going to work.

I’m tired of you all withdrawing. I’m tired of you all running away. When I’m your friend, I’m your friend through it all. When I love you, I love you through it all.

Love me enough to at least let me stand by you while you find the strength and the courage to throw off the shackles and the darkness. I am not judging you. I just want you to fight. I love seeing you fight.

Everyone slips into darkness. And everyone has the choice whether or not to stand back up again and walk back towards the light and happiness.

Evil starts losing its power the minute… no, the very second, you start standing up, fighting it, and getting away from it. Resist it and your resistance becomes stronger. Resist it again, and your strength even doubles. You just keep going. You just keep fighting. You just keep walking away.

And that’s where I come in. This world and this lifetime are a battle against good and evil. If it is bringing you down and making you the kind of person you don’t want to be, get away from it. Even if other people say that it’s fine or that it’s not a big deal, still get away from it. The world is unhappy, and I am certainly not going to try following anything they all are trying to say is alright or good.

You call me if you’re struggling. I am way past the age where I would judge people. I don’t care what darkness you’re fighting, you let me fight it with you. I will talk to you any time of the day or night. My phone is on, and I am here. Call me, message me, email me, anything. I will respond in kindness and gratitude for your strength and courage. I promise. Because you are doing an incredible and brave thing. And I understand that it’s hard. But I’ve seen you do hard things before.

Do not walk away from me. Do not give up. This is a battle I know you can win. You might slip up. You might fall down again. You just call me. And we’ll talk about it again. And we’ll remind each other why the battle is worth fighting.

Because in the end, anything good is worth fighting for. And I want you to have the happiest life you possibly can get. The future is whatever you choose to make of it. And the world really needs more people standing up and fighting for what’s right.

So, where do you want to be in 5 years?

Tara