Is the "What" most important? Or the "Why"?

Are we raising a group of mindless fact machines? Or are we going to really actually teach them the way things work? Are we going to show them, or just spout it to them? It does no good for them to know the facts if they do not really understand it. They might win at trivia, but they won't win at life.


The ones that win are the ones that can ask questions, and then go get them answered. Most importantly, they can ask Why and How. If they do not understand, retention and remembering is significantly lower, and they really can't do much with what they remember anyway. But if they understand the Why and the How, then how could they forget very easily? Facts and knowledge don't just settle and stick in people's minds. It takes work. Memorization of useless things is a waste of brain space if it has no applicable meaning. On the other hand, everything can have an applicable meaning to someone's life IF it is taught properly. The internet can spout and look up facts a lot better than humans can. So can books. We are not meant to do that.


But there are some people that have an incredible wealth of knowledge, and they can tell you all sorts of things about the world. How do they know it all? Because they know the Why of it. If you understand how something works you won't have to memorize the data, you'll just already know and understand it already. The Why and How leads you easily to the What. But the What does not lead you to the Why and How. We need to be learning smarter, not harder.


And who says we need to go to college anyway. Some of the most brilliant and successful people i know obtained learning and knowledge through a variety of other means. A doctorate degree does not make you smart or successful. You make yourself that way.

At the end of the day, and at the end of a class, if a person can truly answer the question, "So what?", then they have truly learned.


Tara J. Howard


Copyright November 2014

Are You Doing it Right?

A serious matter I heard on my way,

‘Twas a father and daughter discussing.

The father was firm in his steadfast decree

That she go to church instead of sluffing.

But the daughter bluntly refused as she said,

“I won’t go to church, and that’s for sure.

It used to be good, and it used to be fun.

But I don’t learn a thing anymore.”

“I’m sick of the fasting, and praying, and stuff.

It just doesn’t go as it should.

They certainly ask us to do way too much.

I’m supposed to be perfectly good!”

The father stopped walking and turned to his daughter,

A serious look crossed his face.

For he had a message so tender to give her,

Before she ran life’s toughest race.

“Do you like playing soccer?” The father asked daughter.

She nodded her head, “Yeah, so what?”

“Then you’re doing it right.” He spoke quietly now.

“Or else you wouldn’t play day and night.”

“Do you like swimming?” Question two now he asked.

“Yes, I like to do it a lot too.”

“Then you’re doing it right.” Simply said, that was done.

“Or else it would not be fun for you.”

“Now, do you like fasting?” His eyes piercing hers.

“No, I hate it.” Was her swift reply.

“It’s hard, and it’s painful, I don’t like not eating.

It’s too much to ask me to try.”

The father looked out at the distant sun setting,

The orange, red, yellow, and blue.

“Then doing it right, you are not.” He said softly.

“It’s hard, yes, but swimming is too.

“It took you three years to learn and love soccer.

You couldn’t do that in one day.

But after you’d tried just as hard as you could,

Then soccer you finally played.”

“You can’t do things halfway and hope to like them.

It takes work, courage, faith, and some luck.

You have to work hard as you possibly can,

At that fasting, and praying, and stuff.”

Tara J. Howard

Copyright 2010

The 12 Attributes of Great Leaders

1. The Courage to Stay Strong

A Leader needs the ability to withstand adversity and motivate theirself in the face of frustration. Rise above your present conditions, learn to deal with things you can’t change. Concentrate. Learn. Don’t ever let yourself even consider giving up. It’s not even an option.

2. An Ability to Listen

Good Leadership requires you to surround yourself with people of diverse perspectives who can disagree with you without fear or retaliation. Don’t be afraid of conflicting opinions. Be open-minded. Listen to those who disagree with you. You can learn a lot from them. Don’t discard the other person’s opinion. Try to understand where they’re coming from. More than likely, they have a very valid point of view. Listen to what they’re thinking and what they’re feeling.

3. An Ability to Learn from Errors

To Lead successfully, you must be willing to acknowledge and learn from your mistake. Don’t get discouraged. Be humble. If it’s not working, learn to change. There are always a million ways to do anything. Find the way that works the best for you and for those you lead. If you mess up, admit it. The worst thing you can do is try to cover it up. You can never fix a mistake unless you admit that it’s there.

4. A Willingness to Change

Conditions change, and you must be able to respond. Nothing is more constant than change. Be flexible and always ready. Circumstances change and so do people. Be accepting of everyone. See everyone’s value.

5. Emotional Intelligence

A Leader must encourage their closest advisors to give their best and remain loyal. Share credit for your successes, and shoulder public blame for the failure of subordinates. Transmit strength to others, to make them feel more determined to do their jobs well. Share the credit, take the blame. Boost, strengthen, encourage others.

6. Self-Confidence

Whatever you do, do with confidence. And even if it’s wrong, it will be more right than doing the right thing without confidence. Nobody will follow a weak leader. Even if you don’t feel strong, act like it and strength will follow. Believe you’re strong and your mind will listen. You can’t become strong by acting weak.

7. Self-Control

Great Leaders manage their emotions and remain calm in the midst of trouble. Keep a cool head. No matter how mad you are, don’t take it out on others. Don’t make enemies through your anger. Don’t lose your temper. You are the one that everyone is looking up to.

8. A Popular Touch

The Best Leaders have an intuitive awareness of public sentiment, a sense of when to wait and when to lead. Learn patience, not force. Listen to your followers. Know your audience. Follow your senses. What seems to make the most sense, is not always the best option either. Know what you’re feeling, and know what your followers are feeling too.

9. A Moral Compass

Only Strong Leaders have the courage and integrity to follow their convictions when the risk is great. Have integrity. Always do what’s right. Do the right thing even when there may be severe consequences or when the outlook may look gloomy or uncertain. Just know, that whenever you follow the straight road and do exactly what you know is right, you can never go wrong.

10. A Capacity to Relax

Make time for fun to relax and renew. Having a sense of humor always helps to keep

your mood up. Play jokes, see the fun side of life. When you’re enjoying what you’re

doing and having fun, you can get so much more done. Just make sure that you don’t

let everything get so light-hearted that nothing can get done. Find the balance

between serious and fun.

11. A Gift for Inspiring Others

Bond the people. Bring them together. Don’t tear them apart. Strengthen the people. Give them renewed hope and strength. Don’t push others away. Give them every opportunity to help you and to help each other. Allowing that bonding is what makes you stronger as a Leader. Trusting and relying on other people brings them closer to you and makes their trust and respect for you stronger. If you can’t learn to trust your subordinates, than how will they ever really trust you?

12. The Ability to See Higher

Don’t look down. Always look up. Throw your shoulders back, put your chin up, and see everything the world has to offer. Never look down on yourself either. Look up. See yourself as higher than you are at the moment. Your heart and mind will strive to reach that image of yourself. Don’t get cocky or prideful. But always be looking up and forward. Where your eyes see, you will follow. So look high, and aim for that.

Tara Howard

Copyright September 2014

Holding Out for a Miracle

From when I was young, I always was taught,
God lives and He loves all His children.
And when we live right, and do all that we can,
That's when the miracles come.

Life was never easy, some years were quite rough.
I never knew what lay before me.
With nowhere else to go, I would go to my knees,
I was holding out for a miracle.

Then before long, these teenage years hit me hard,
The struggles are hard lessons learned.
The world seems against me, I don't know where to turn.
I'm holding out for a miracle.

Now I am thousands of miles from home,
Preaching the Gospel in this place.
But they don't want to listen, they slam doors in our face.
I'm holding out for a miracle.

Once I am home, I take off on my dreams.
Gold medals, Olympics, I see.
But money is tight, there's a coach I would need,
I'm holding out for a miracle.

Someone told me, "God doesn't care about small things,
He doesn't care about the Olympics."
"Maybe not." I replied. "But He cares about me.
Who I am, who I become, and my dreams."

"He'll help me, He will, because He always has.
Maybe I didn't get all that I wanted.
Who I became though is a miracle from God.
Life made me all that I am.

And now I'm a mother, with several young children,
They're growing up carefree and strong.
With all I could teach them between right and wrong,
Here is what I chose to say.

Life isn't easy, you do what you can.
Do what's right, and just give it your all.
Sometimes we're beaten down, and sometimes we fall,
Just keep holding out for the miracle.


Tara J. Howard


Copyright August 2014

What Others Feel -- Poem

Some people don’t care what others think.
That can be right, sometimes wrong.
When you don’t care if they hurt you or not,
That’s when you know you’ll be strong.

But when you don’t care what others feel,
When you don’t really care if they hurt,
When you will say things just to see them get angry,
When you’ll leave them sitting in the dirt.

I can’t really think that is right, so you know.
But some people think it’s just fine.
Some people don’t care what others feel,
And think they are all that will shine.

So if it’s not right, and they say it’s not wrong,
What is it then, do you know?
What is the point of disregarding people’s feelings,
Just to prove you’re so tough? It’s a show!!

I just can’t understand why anyone
Would walk around with knives in their hand.
Who would be more determined to always be right,
And then lose every friend that they had?



--Tara J. Howard

Copyright 2014

Thoughts About Being a Leader

While I cannot claim to be an expert on this topic, I do still have thoughts of my own. Hopefully these are not taken in a way offensive to anyone.

You do not have to be perfect to be a great leader. All of the leaders I have met have had many flaws of their own still. But there are still certain characteristics that should definitely be developed into a person's mannerisms that will make them a great deal more successful in all their ambitions.

First, do not be a hypocrite in any way. When your words and your actions start to really contradict, it will catch up to you eventually and you will be found out. You may feel like you are entitled to still be able to do certain things because of your position, but in fact it is the complete opposite. When you are in a position of authority, don't abuse it. You, of all people, should be completely upholding everything you teach, to the very highest degree.


Your very attitude, manners, and speech should uphold the highest level. Speak and act with dignity and grace. Understand justice as well as mercy. Know your position of power, but stay humble.

Anyone can help somebody to become good; But it takes a very Great Leader to help others along the path to becoming Great. That should be your whole goal.

Focus outward. Don't look inwardly at yourself. When you are selfish, that becomes all you can see. Sacrifice, give, but don't give all away and have nothing left for yourself. Take care of yourself first, and you will be better able to take care of others.

Don't expect too much of others, and don't be too hard on them when they do not make it the first time, or the second, or maybe even the hundredth. People struggle. Some things will come easier for some than it will for others. Even parts and pieces of things will come differently to everyone. Something you may think should be easy for everyone may be a struggle for others. Just understand that everyone's bodies, hearts, and minds are all built completely differently.

Don't assign jobs or tasks that you are not willing and/or able to take on yourself, and that you have done in the past. Whenever possible, do the work with them. The influence of your presence and caring will extend beyond your words.

Never play one person against another. Never hold one person above the rest. You can hold them as an example to the rest, but do not make everyone else feel constantly inferior to that person. Especially do not hold yourself above the rest and try and make them feel inferior to you. When you constantly try to prove to everyone else that you are better than them, they will stop listening to what you say, and just remember how you made them feel.

You do not have to make everyone just feel good all the time. That's not what I'm saying. That is not your job. What you do need to do, though, is just help them remember how much they really are worth. Sometimes that is all that people need. Do not constantly belittle them or always point out all their flaws and failures. They know their problems and the things they they are struggling with, and they do not need to be continuously told. Be more quick to encourage than you are to point out flaws.


Last, if you start demanding respect and you feel like you constantly have to rebuke what you feel are challenges, then your authority does not have the power that it used to have. A person's authority, as well as the trust and respect for them can be broken down all at once. But it is usually broken down piece by piece. Like water through the cracks in cement.

But if you constantly feel like your authority and position are being challenged, perhaps it is time to look inward. If you keep getting defensive and fighting back, then maybe there really is something that needs to be fixed. Because if there were no cracks in your cement, then the person would have no possible way of breaking it down.

Remember, facts are facts. If you are wrong, be man enough to admit it. Don't just keep trying to act like you did nothing wrong. That can only hurt you. If you made a mistake, they will still know one way or the other. But if you get all defensive and try to pretend you were still right, it will only break you down more in their eyes.


***********
Just remember, being a great leader does not come from what you say. It comes simply from everything that you are. If your words and your actions contradict, then you will end up breaking yourself down. And if you try and place yourself above others, you will be pulled down. If you try and demand that people treat you like a leader and a position of authority, then it is time to go back and learn again how to be a follower.

Great leaders are not made from up front. They are made inside. For it will be love, desire, and sincere respect that will get people to follow you. Not force.

*************

Positive Reinforcement---Negative Reinforcement---Punishment---Extinction

**************'
Tara J. Howard

Copyright 2014

Mean People in Life ~ Poem

I met a mean person as I walked on my way.

I was strong, but he knocked me to dirt.

I then became weak, so he spat on my face.

I stood up and he stabbed me to hurt.

I did what he said, then he changed his mind.

I changed my mind too. He went back.

I went back, but he laughed from there way behind.

I pulled tight, then he gave it some slack.

If I gave up, he would laugh at my weakness.

If I was strong at all, I wasn’t right.

If I’m strong he’ll just hurt me again in the darkness.

My trouble seems to his delight.

No matter how much better I then became,

It was never good enough at all.

No matter which side I took around him,

I was wrong and thrown into a wall.

When you meet a person that’s prideful and tough,

You should never talk to them that day.

For they’re never wrong, and you’ll learn soon enough,

They’ll knock down anyone in their way.

Tara J. Howard

Copyright 2014