Gospel Topic # 1: Family

“Give your child a compliment and a hug; say, ‘I love you’ more; always express your thanks. Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved. Friends move away, children grow up, loved ones pass on. It’s so easy to take others for granted, until that day when they’re gone from our lives and we are left with feelings of ‘what if’ and ‘if only.’ …

President Thomas S. Monson, "Love at Home-Counsel from Our Prophet", Aug. 2011, First Presidency Message

While I do not have Tolstoy’s certainty that happy families are all alike, I have discovered one thing that most have in common: they have a way of forgiving and forgetting the imperfections of others and of looking for the good.

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "One Key to a Happy Family", Oct. 2012, First Presidency Message

Parents should teach their children to pray. The child learns both from what the parents do and what they say. The child who sees a mother or a father pass through the trials of life with fervent prayer to God and then hears a sincere testimony that God answered in kindness will remember what they saw and heard. When their trials come, they will be prepared.

President Henry B. Eyring, "Write Upon My Heart", Oct. 2000

We cannot change; we will not change the moral standard. We quickly lose our way when we disobey the laws of God. If we do not protect and foster the family, civilization and our liberties must needs perish.

President Boyd K. Packer, "Cleansing the Inner Vessel", Oct. 2010

May it be our resolve this year to build a gospel-centered home, a safe harbor from the storms of the adversary. Let us again remember the promises and instructions from the Lord to His children:

Elder L. Tom Perry, "The Importance of the Family", April 2003

Worldwide reports indicate that more than 40 million abortions are performed per year. This war called abortion is a war on the defenseless and the voiceless. It is a war on the unborn. This war is being waged globally. Ironically, civilized societies that have generally placed safeguards on human life have now passed laws that sanction this practice. This matters greatly to us because the Lord has repeatedly declared this divine imperative: “Thou shalt not kill.” ⁴ Then He added, “Nor do anything like unto it.” ⁵  John Calvin, a sixteenth-century reformer, wrote, “If it seems more horrible to kill a man in his own house than in a field, … it ought surely to be deemed more atrocious to destroy a fœtus in the womb before it has come to light.” ⁶

Elder Russel M. Nelson, "Abortion: An Assault on the Defenseless", Oct. 2008

The Church has auxiliary programs for women, youth, and children as a support to the family. These programs provide such things as religious instruction, opportunities for Christian service, sports, drama, music, and Scouting. And there is also much focus on extended family, genealogy, and personal family history, providing young and old with a stronger sense of roots, identity, and belonging. The highest and most sacred ordinances of our faith relate to our families, both living and dead, and some of these ordinances take place in our temples.

M. Russel Ballard, "Faith, Family, Facts, and Fruits", Oct. 2007

“I remember a witness,” he said, “that was testifying before a Congressional committee about the family, and he said, ‘Before you fool around with the family, you’d better realize that all known human societies during the recorded history of mankind have all ended up with a family organization for the rearing and training of children. Before you try to get rid of it, you’d better find out why all civilizations in history have clung to it.’ I think your church’s emphasis on it has been truly extraordinary.”

President Spencer W. Kimball, "The True Way of Life and Salvation", April 1978

We pointed out that the most important organization on earth is the family, where “fathers and mothers are … equal partners.”⁸ Neither one is financially compensated, but the blessings are beyond description.

Elder Quentin L. Cook, "LDS Women are Incredible", April 2011

The key to strengthening our families is having the Spirit of the Lord come into our homes. The goal of our families is to be on the strait and narrow path.

Robert D. Hales, "Strengthening Families: Our Sacred Duty", April 1999

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Position Statement:

I believe that the prophets have spoken the truth about the importance of families, and the strengthening impact that they can have on the world. The Lord has decreed the importance of families, our need for them, and the world’s growing need for them too. A strong and righteous family will make a strong and righteous world. It is the building block for everything good in this world.

When I get married and have a family of my own, I want my kids to always know what I believe in, and what I stand for. I want them to always know that they are loved, and I want our family unit to be strong and firmly bound together. Families should be a haven of safety, and a place of security. It is hard work, and it will always be that way. But the blessings that you will receive in return will be too many to count. It is the most wonderful blessing that you will ever have, and the most incredible endeavor full of love that you will ever undertake. 

Tara Howard

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Life, Homework, and Dreams

We are all sitting here in our own little world, seemingly apart from everyone else. Scattered students everywhere sleeping, eating, or pounding through the homework. We connect through the learning and let it just suck us into a different world where knowledge is prominent. It works that way, to change our lives up, down, or forward. Onward to what we want. That is, if we can even figure out what exactly we even want anymore.

Crank the music and let it keep you awake, no matter how much sleep you got, or how much work you've got either. The mind whirs beneath the perfect curls, or spiky punk-do's.

It doesn't matter where you try to go. You'll get there eventually, and it's not even entirely in your control either. You have a choice, of course, but events change choices faster than force. No plan happens like planned, so why have one?


Have goals, and have goals to get to the bigger picture. But if you have set goals, do they ever really actually happen? Life seems to have a psychotic mind of its own and the ability to control and change anything you might possibly ever want. So should you ever want anything, or even plan anything, or even hope for anything, or ever set any goals if life seems to just change it to whatever it actually wants?

Is there anything or anyone that you can actually count on in this ridiculous world of zombies and walking copycats? Is everyone so out for their own that they don't stop to remember the rest? Is that how I am? We have to stand on each other's shoulders to reach the top, but sometimes they just get smashed flat instead.

Where does the end come, and the beginning start? Is there a place inside yourself that won't yell at you all your flaws, that will just appreciate you for who you are? They say that you are amazing, but how could everyone possibly be amazing at the exact same time? And in that case, would it even really matter? If we're all worth everything, are any of us even worth anything?

The mountain just seems to keep growing, and you sometimes start to wonder why you ever started trying to climb it. The fall off of it would hurt more though, so you keep climbing. Always looking for a hand to help pull you up through the rocky terrain.

It doesn't matter, does it? Does it matter where you end up, or what you do, or where you go? You'll still end up somewhere. You'll still end up at the end somewhere.


So grab a vague picture of yourself that you want to become, and walk towards it. Run towards it. Some people will try to jerk it away from you. Run for it. Grab it, hold it, even if it rips, even if you're torn, don't let it go. You might have to run from those who should help you the most, but you can make it. Make it happen. Find who you are, if you can. Then don't let anyone ever take that away from you. If you have to leave, then leave. Don't put up with what you shouldn't.

You can have your dreams, if you can figure out what they are. If you do, hold onto them with all your might. Nothing will be for sure. People won't either, no matter how much they might say. You could have the world, and still hold nothing. When you're ripped apart, you can be made stronger. Sometimes you can't do it alone though. Trust someone and let them help you. But don't trust them inside you. Eventually their spike-tipped knuckles will puncture into something, whether or not they meant to.

Someday though, someone will come along that you can give everything to. The rip inside both of you will be filled with each other and you will be made complete once again, like you have wished for so long. Until then, hold it closed yourself, and watch out for the selfish greed and pride that could infect it and destroy you completely.

Sometimes people are blind and they don't see or understand. Other times they choose the color of the blindfold to tie on. Don't be deceived by a blind man leading or a deaf man singing. The words may be compelling, but the knife is real. Don't get distracted by insignificant circumstances. Life will still carry you on down the stream, whether or not you have a lifeboat.




Tara J. Howard


Copyright 2014

Up and Down

Too serious, too giddy.

Trying to take control too much, not taking charge enough.

Being too strict, being too lenient.

Not seeing enough, seeing too much.

Too gentle, too firm.

Too much of one, then too little of the same.

Where does the line go, and how do you find it, and how do you keep it too?

You see one thing, they see another. Which one is right and how can you know?

You can do everything you possibly can, but is it ever enough?

Is an explanation ever going to be heard? Or can you never talk again?

Do you have the right to defend yourself? Do you really have the right to, to anyone?

Every time something happens, you’ve got to change. You change one direction or another. But either direction you change, you’ve got to then change back because you’re doing it wrong again. Is there a center area anywhere where you can actually do it right?

Is it even possible to please?  Or ever get this right?



Tara J. Howard



Copyright 2014

The Backwards World-Teasing With Insults

Never trust a person that teases with insults. For so often it turns into their belief. Only be positive in all that you say. For you'll eventually believe what you said, whether or not you really meant it.

You know, if the do it just every once in a while, than it's not really that big of a deal. When it starts to become a regular thing though, that's when you should worry. It means that they are not afraid, and don't have any qualms about, just popping off with something that can be kindof mean or degrading. In that case then, you start to wonder what kinds of things they are saying about you behind your back too.



Don't put doubts in people's minds. Don't put hurtful in thoughts there that could bounce around for quite a while. Nobody likes to hear those things, even if you're "just teasing" or "just kidding". After a while the start to wonder if there really is some truth to it, otherwise, why would you keep saying it? Why would you keep bringing it up?

Fill people's lives with only positive. You can be firm in your corrections, but don't be insulting. That won't inspire anyone to change. It will just hurt them. Don't be responsible for hurting so many people. Don't be responsible for making them cry. It can get out of hand really, really fast, so don't even start down that path. It's just miserable for both sides, and a lot of friendships can be slowly, or quickly, ruined from that. 


It is especially important as a friend, and just as important, or more, as a parent, teacher, or coach. When someone looks up to you, don't rip them down, even in light-hearted teasing. It can cause them a lot of pain, feelings of self-worthlessness, and it can cause them to start doing the same since they looked up to you. It can be harder to look up to someone after that, and they will probably remember at least occasionally for the rest of their lives.


Don't be so blind to the damage you can do. Sometimes it doesn't come all at once either. Sometimes you might do it once, and you might not realize the potential it has for hurt. But people laughed, or acted like it wasn't a big deal or something, so then you end up doing it more and more. Just know, that eventually it really will wear the person down, and it will get to them eventually. The words don't just fly away. They bounce around inside of them for a while.

Everyone starts out with some self-worth, and self-esteem issues. Many people are very, very strong. But if you do it over and over, it can wear some of the very strongest down. Some of your most loyal students, and some of your closest friends. 

And listen to them. If they tell you that they don't like what you're saying or what you're calling them, don't just brush it off. Don't just tell them to suck it up, or that it's not a big deal, or that you were "just kidding". Nobody should ever say that to anybody that's hurting. 

Just be positive in everything that you say. Don't tease meanly. It can get out of hand so very quickly, and it can cause so much damage. Maybe you don't see it now, but eventually you will. 



Tara J. Howard


Copyright 2014

An Ode to the Lonely

You feel alone,

Your dreams seem so far.

All that you wish,

Is on a dead star.

Without a hope,

Right now you’re not sure.

What do you need?

Just something that’s yours.

Someone to hear,

All you have to say.

Someone to help you,

Who won’t go away.

Someone to talk,

And encourage too.

Just so you know,

They care about you.

Someone to help,

You up when you fall.

Someone to cry,

When you’ve lost it all.

Someone to push,

You on to your dreams.

Someone who sees,

All that you can be.

Why won’t they help you?

Why won’t they try?

You’ve felt all your dreams,

Sometimes almost die.

But you’ve held onto them,

With fire and grit.

Hoping that someday,

They’ll help you to it.

That’s what you need,

We all know it too.

A dream to hold onto,

A person that’s true.

Just so you know,

That you really do matter.

But they left you alone,

And your dreams they have shattered.

Tara J. Howard


Copyright 2014

Ten Basic Manners

1.    Say Please and Thank you. It never gets old. Get used to the feel of it on your tongue. Also, "I’m sorry" is another good phrase to memorize, as well as "excuse me.". Don’t be too embarrassed or too prideful to say it.

2.    Saying Sir and Ma’am to everyone is needed a whole lot more in this world. Be respectful and polite in all of your language and manners.

3.    Don’t interrupt. Unless there’s an emergency. No matter how badly you want to say something, don’t interrupt. It’s rude. Just save it.

4.    Take care of yourself. Use proper hygiene, and make sure you are presentable at all times. Everyone loves a good mud fight sometimes, and that is just fine. Even on dates. But don’t go around looking like a mud hole all the time.

5.    Chew your food with your mouth closed. You’re not a cow, nobody wants to see it, or hear it. Ever. Remember, smaller bites help to accommodate that.

6.    Understand people’s boundaries. Don’t get too close if they are not comfortable with it. Different people have different boundaries levels. Respect that.

7.    Don’t drag your feet when you walk. You don’t have to tiptoe, but learn how to pick up your feet and walk quietly, like a lady or a gentleman.

8.    Don’t stay too long, too late, or come excessively. As they say “Don’t overstay your welcome.” Know the limits, and what people are comfortable with.

9.    Keep clean what’s yours, and take good care if it’s somebody else’s too. Don’t abuse the privilege of borrowing someone else’s things.

10.   Don’t try to be something you’re not. Nobody likes a fake. You can learn something you haven’t learned before, and you become something you haven’t been before too. Don’t fake it though. Be who you really are, and let your achievements change you for the better only.



Feel free to add more. J

     
 
Tara J. Howard



Copyright 2014

Indomitable Spirit

I will fight for the things that are wrong. And stand up against the people that are doing wrong. Whether or not they are my friends. 

But, as I do so, I will not be cruel, or harsh, or mean. And I refuse to put up with people that are. If they believe that is the only way to get their point across, then they still have many lessons to learn.

There are other ways of talking to them. And there are better ways of dealing with this. I refuse to be two-sided. And I refuse to be broken or ripped apart for the things that I know I was doing right. 

I am going to stand my ground against this. I will be me, and I will do what's right, and stand up for what's right. 

I know who I am, and I refuse to be changed for the worse. I have the tools now to become better and become everything I want to become. When people see me, they will see Me. Not a showcase, or a plastic exterior. Everyone will know me exactly as I am, and I will be real, true, sincere, kind, and a real friend. 

Indomitable Spirit: "The refusal to be dominated by opposition. The will to get up and go again."

Tara J. Howard


Copyright 2014

I'm Going Anyway-Poem

She said: I am going.

They said: It will be hard and you will get tired.

She said: "I'm going anyway."

The trials will hurt you, the problems will thwart you.

"I'm going anyway."

You could break your bones, from rocks, sticks, and stones.

You could be alone, lose friends you have known.

"I'm going anyway."

You could lose it all, and in the end, fall.

You could start to cry, you could even die.

"I'm going anyway."

Everything could stand against you, 

It could maime and crush you.

It could all come to naught, 

And you could be forgot.

It could just near kill you,

So will you still go? Will you? Will you?

And she said: "Yes.

I know what I want. I know what I've fought.

I know I will hurt. But I'll smile through the dirt.

I could lose all my friends, but it's not the end.

The trials will come, I'll still continue on.

The changes you'll see, you'll see who I'll be.

I know what I want, and I will not give up!"

"I am going anyway."

Tara J. Howard



Copyright 2014

Your Quest, Your Journey, Your Pain

I believe that every quest anyone takes will always hurt them in some way. It can also always help us, but only if we allow it too. If we don't allow changes to take place in us along our journey, then all the quest will do is hurt us deeply.

At the same time though, I believe that a quest is never complete unless it is filled with some sort of pain and hurt that has to be conquered by the end. All quests and journeys have some sort of great suffering included in them. If they didn't, then it wouldn't really be a journey or a challenge.

Pain and suffering are two of the things that can always change us the very most. But still, we have to let it change us. We cannot fight and strike out, but in the end we still must conquer it. How though? That is different for everyone. 

Pain can change a person, either for the better or for the worse. It either makes a person stronger, or makes them weaker. It either pushes them off the path of their dreams, or spurs them onward. It can change a person to greater good, or push them off the edge to evil. It can be the great changer of people. 

The question that many people have asked though is: Is pain just all in your mind? I don't believe it is, although I believe your mind can change it greatly. Even emotional pain can become very, very physical. Ask someone that's experienced it. Sometimes it can just be in your stomach. Sometimes it can be throughout your whole body. Everyone feels it differently. It can sometimes be worse than any sort of physical torture you could possibly imagine.

The pain is what helps us to grow and to change. How we deal with the pain, and how we use it, that is what determines the change that happens inside of us. That's what determines whether it helps us, or hurts us.

Physical growing pains young people face,
Always accompany physical growth.
The inner pains that you have each day of your life,
Are just growing pains, but for you soul.



Tara J. Howard



Copyright 2014